The Viking and I flew into Morocco late on a Sunday night and were whisked by car up and away into the Atlas mountain range, taking the last part of the journey to our lodge by foot. We awoke on our first morning to this view.
We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto -- nor Wirral, England, where 36 hours earlier we had watched as two groomsmen in tailcoats wrestled on the floor of a ballroom, smearing each other in cupcake icing (behavior I've come to expect at an English wedding, but that’s a story for another day).
We came to the Atlas to trek. Specifically, to climb the tallest mountain in North Africa -- Jbel Toubkal -- which towered somewhere in the distance at 4,167 meters. This seemed like a great idea while I was sitting in front of the TV with a glass of wine researching vacations.
What follows is an account of our trek to the summit, reconstructed from journal entries, mad ravings/scribblings, and photos.
Day 1
8:30 AM
Standard issue Moroccan breakfast: cereal, homemade yogurt, coffee, hard-boiled eggs, warm bread with jam, honey, and butter. About to merrily stuff it in as “fuel” for day’s hike.
9 AM
We meet our guide, a local Berber named Mohammad Ali, like the boxer. Except this one weighs 130 lbs soaking wet. Armed with walking poles and packs, we begin.
10:30 AM
Oddly, terrain is not gently rolling hills and breezy meadows full of wildflowers as was the case in my imaginary Moroccan mountain dreamworld. More vertical, rocky, dusty, unpleasant. Note: Mohammad may actually be mountain goat disguised as human male. Not humanly possible to scamper up mountains so fast.
12 PM
Exhausting morning's hike made almost worthwhile by tasty Berber-cooked lunch at finish: salad of vegetables and tuna, fresh bread, spiced lamb with rice, mint tea. Snooze in shade. Things looking up.
2 PM
Viking and I ineptly zig and zag our way down craggy, shale-covered, nearly vertical face of hillside like novice skiers on black diamond. Meanwhile: Mohammad up ahead, skipping down said hillside in velcro Tiva sandals, wailing Berber mountain songs, twirling his walking stick. Show-off.
4 PM
We arrive at lodge, which is much nicer than anticipated and features hot water, electricity, cozy fire, killer view. We dine on delicious meal cooked by Berber housekeeper: chicken tagine with olives, melon, mint tea. I let Viking win at Scrabble twice.
Day 2
9 AM
Mohammad has changed from Tiva sandals to full-on hiking boots; in retrospect, I should have realized what was about to happen, sat down, refused to move from lodge.
11 AM
Mohammad would make a world-class marathoner if you could convince him to do something so boring as run 26 flat miles. It’s worth noting that he is a pack a day smoker, the final word in all future arguments re: me having the occasional cigarette.
2 PM
On switchbacks climbing last 900 meters to today’s peak, racing to get to camp before bad weather hits. 60 MPH winds not what I meant when wishing for "cooling breeze." I can't feel my legs. Thinking: If I ever get off this mountain, I'm going to start eating a lot more bacon.
2:30 PM
Two things keep happening to deflate my sense of accomplishment: 1) Mohammad’s insistence on calling this a “nice walk,” instead of what it is, a death march to the apex of Mt. Hell, and 2) occasionally rounding bend on windswept, Godforsaken mountainside and running into small boy toddling along after village goats.
3 PM
Heroic shot of me and Mohammad braving ice field at 3,900 meters. Not pictured: me sobbing in exhaustion-induced hysterics and screaming against wind, “I fucking hate this fucking mountain.”
4:30 PM
We arrive to base of final Toubkal ascent, at what looks like post-apocalyptic French refugee camp but is actually lodge for backpackers – most European. I am exhausted, teary, dirty, dehydrated, hungry. It’s 35 degrees and I’ve just learned that we’ll be sleeping in a tent.
7 PM
Mostly back in one piece thanks to hot shower, mint tea, warm clothes, and Berber-cooked dinner of vegetable soup and goat tagine. I highly recommend finding yourself a Berber, they are awfully good at making tagines. Recipe to follow in subsequent post.
9 PM
Mohammad reports that he has climbed Toubkal 459 times without losing anyone. That’s a safety record that even my mother, great Consumer Reports disciple, could get behind.
Day 3
5:45 AM
The last time I saw the sun rise I had a bottle of Veuve in one hand and an Ambien in the other.
8:30 AM
After two hours of climbing, just 150 meters from the summit. It's as cold as it looks.
9:00 AM
Victory! We reach summit; moment of pride and accomplishment overshadowed by intense desire to get out of cold and wind and down from high place.
*******
And now for the actual cooking part -- since this is, after all, a cooking blog.
It would be hard to overstate the prominence of mint tea in the Berber diet. They drink it constantly, like water (the water quality is very poor so tea serves as a safe substitute), to socialize, as a digestive, as a snack. The Berbers make mint tea from green tea and fresh mint leaves(wild mint grows all over the lower mountains – you catch whiffs of it periodically as you’re climbing along), and a load of sugar. The traditional preparation is very, very sweet, which makes it a perfect drink for hiking.
The Berbers refer to mint tea as “Berber Whisky” -- after all, they are Muslim, so do not drink alcohol -- which makes me sad because only someone who had never had whisky would call it that. No, mint tea is more like Berber Gatorade. It’s just the kind of glucose bomb that’s perfect for fueling a couple of hours on a mountain.
It’s really delicious, perfect at tea time or after dinner, and if you can't justify the major sugar high you can always alter the sugar content accordingly.
Berber Mint Tea
Serves 2
1 tbsp loose leaf green tea, or 1 tea bag
1 large stalk mint
Sugar
1. Add green tea and mint to small teapot (if green tea is loose, put in an infuser).
2. In a medium saucepan, bring 1 quart water to a boil.
3. Remove boiling water from heat and pour into teapot.
4. Steep for 3 minutes; serve.
5. Sweeten to taste (approximately 2 tablespoons per cup for authentic mint tea).
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